For your viewing pleasure

See photo descriptions in next post. Sorry for any gag reflexes.

My 30 years never prepared me for this housesitting job

I am exhausted due to my new job, and well, also due to the fact that I woke up at around 3 am last night with my face being eaten by ants. Not kidding. It happened to Jason the night before, but he got it even worse. Let's just say we are in the midst of housesitting for one of the most ant and cockroach infested places ever. It is not that our out-of-town friend is a mess, it's just that in this tropical locale, bugs can move in and aren't too keen on moving out.

My admiration for my dear Jason has really reached a new level as of late. I think he has killed around 15 huge cockroaches and an innumerable amount of small ones, carried away dead lizard bodies and a dead rat (thanks for the presents kitties), and just all around stepped up to the challenge of staying in a place where we are outnumbered by some very pesky and bold creatures.

I have been chased down by a super-sized insect while screaming and jumping in a small bathroom and seen one of the cats play hacky sack and then chomp down on a cute little baby mouse in the living room, but at least I have interesting stories to tell my co-workers each morning.

Now I am rambling. I wanted to share 2 disgusting pictures of dead lizards--one from tonight that the ants were just starting to invade, and one from the other night that was reduced to its skeleton--but my computer isn't wanting to upload them. Another day.

I may go vomit.

Whaaaaaa

Once again crying inside because I don't live in Seattle

http://www.bumbershoot.org/lineup.htm

Know when to say 'When'

Several glasses of wine before a dinner with my friend Crystal, where we then drank a bottle of Prosecco and another big glass of Merlot, was a bad idea. Usually, not a problem. Jason showed up toward the end of the evening, which is when my brain got a little hazy. Not too many people left in the restaurant, but I still managed to make an idiot of myself when I loudly proclaimed, "I'm going to RAPE YOUR BALLS!"

The only table with people seated was right next to us. A tourist family with 2 little kids. Jason pointed that out to me, and I proceeded to say, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" As in...Oh no, why did I say something so offensive in front of this poor family, but I am now being even more offensive. Sheesh. With my luck they were guests here at the Westin, which I see a lot of them around town quite regularly. I don't really remember this, but was fortunate enough to not have a hangover the next day. Praise the sweet baby Jesus. I know the locals in my company will forgive me, since they are all a bigger mess than myself.

Please, show some mercy!

I am becoming afraid of the unthinkable...another Republican Whitehouse. Nightmarish, right? But also a possible reality. I am begging and pleading and will even consider sexual favors for anyone who is complacent about voting to get out there and support Obama, if for no other reason than to not support McCain. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. The downward spiral must cease. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. Favors granted upon request.

Maybe it's just me

I keep seeing this lady around town that I long took to be an "old" (50s or 60s) drunk. Well, she is now pregnant. And still drunk and smoking like a chimney. Any thoughts about that unborn baby? And how did she get pregnant at her age?!

Another person I know is smoking weed the whole time she is pregnant. I know we kinda tend to think of marijuana as null and void, but it is not great for you lungs (the poor babies?). A stoned fetus! Why chance it? I am amazed and disturbed.

When I lose my mind...

I want to be just like Roland! He is my favorite homeless drunk crazy person ever. He loves to wear costumes and completely absorb himself into their respective roles. It makes me giddy with anticipation of all the possibilities when my senses begin to falter. Here is one gem as him of a pimp. Sadly, I think I accidentally erased the others. Such as him dressed as a wizard, at one point carrying around a huge book of Shakespeare which he dramatically read in the middle of the park, and at another point held a huge silver tray, arms outstretched as though he was casting a spell while following behind one of the most decrepit slow-moving homeless old person I've ever seen (that's another story in itself...old unwashed sailor with a rotting leg who thought he was Jesus and only wore a wetsuit). He also loves to chat away to his imaginary friends on an old phone attached by its cord somewhere on his pants. I could go on and on, but maybe I'll just have to try to find some more pictures. What a character.

Christmas in July

Always nice to do a little something different for a change. We spent yesterday hanging out at a "Christmas" party overlooking Coral Bay. Met a lot of people (such a small island...no clue there were so many I didn't know), serious potluck eating, Christmasy fun watching Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas (a personal favorite since I was a wee thing), swimming, drinking (of course).

I am soooo excited that we got invited to a party in September for a British guy in Coral Bay who will be made a lord and Duke (Lord Maunder of Hillborough, Duke of Beltinge to be exact). It will be a 300 or so person party where he has to build a bridge and heard 4 sheep over it. Random! Sounds like a good time to me.

There were two distinct groups of kids and old people (we realized that when we were discussing the adults showing up, that we actually qualify as adults ourselves, being in our 30s and all). Randomly at the small party...3 Nasa scientists who did not previously know one another. Also cool to hear people getting introduced and having a *ding* moment of realizing that my peers are really cool people that all own their own successful businesses...Jason with his computer biz and publishing company, Cheech and Kevin with their successful brewery, Colette with her ice cream shop. Nice to see people pursuing their passions and doing well instead of living the cubicle life.

Knew the party was over when a tourist showed up and proceeded to get into the hot tub naked with us (we were wearing proper bathing suit attire) while he ate a plate full of food. Time to go.

A big thanks with hugs and kisses to the Doves for hosting such a great time at one of their beautiful properties.

A view of Coral Bay and the BVIs in the distance

So thrilled about my Christmas present...a denim pouch

Great view from the pool

Rooney and Colette so happy together

Ick take 2

More gross than mooshing cockroaches with your finger? The gladiator sandal trend. Ew.

Ick

We've had a bit of a roach infestation at the restaurant where I "work" (drink wine, hang out, eat good food) one night a week. No real surprise here in the tropics. But I definitely reached a whole new level the other night. Tourists just don't really get the whole bug thing, you know? As I was seating a couple a roach was on their table. I quickly mooshed it with my finger and freaked out and started wiping it on the underside of the table. I know they didn't notice, and I'm hoping no other customers were looking either. In the few years I've lived here, I've killed a number of ants and small spiders with my bare fingers, but a cockroach? Yuck. Hopefully that will be the last time.