Let's get this party started right

My downstairs neighbor Tyler came over last night, as he sometimes does, for a quick chat on his way to his apartment. Tyler is very excited as he is surprising his boyfriend Kenny with a trip to see Cher in Las Vegas for his birthday. They really love to hook one another up with great gifts…in previous years we’ve seen trips to Dolly Parton’s Dollywood and a quick flight to LA for Madonna. Needless to say Kenny will be excited to his core, even if the only outward enthusiasm he can muster will be a “Great. Thank you,” with a smile as he looks back down at his crossword and sips his Stoli drink.

So Tyler was telling me about his new brilliant plan to take this Vegas trip to the next level. Get Kenny a monkey to escort them in their limo from the airport! Kenny really enjoys monkeys.

As Tyler is telling me the story of how he called a Las Vegas zoo and spoke to a manager there to see about getting a monkey for a few hours, I shook my head with a bewildered smile on my face (as often happens when Tyler talks). When he finished recapping his phone call, our conversation went a little something like this…

Me: So you told the zoo that you needed to have the monkey for a few hours because your boyfriend is really into monkeys? And that you needed some one on one private time with the monkey? Because you really want your boyfriend to have a monkey experience? Maybe if they could make a special trainer available?

Tyler: Oh. (silence) Oh NO! (Hysterical laughter)

Me: You may need to think this through before you call the next monkey people.